Monday, September 29, 2008

Kicking Monday Blues

Monday mornings are always a nightmare for me. It has ever been since the day one my mother took me to a nursery school. Yes, I know ABCD, and that's supposed to be an equivalent of IIT. See ABCD>IIT.

Of course at times it also meant getting bribed by your own mommy. Getting bribed aha..hell no! it was in the form of kajali mach (a very delicious fish meal with very few crabs).

My mom's specialty is that she is a wonderful cook when it comes to really cooking for fishes and paneer, and I guess from a Bengali household it is expected that fishes flavor just like flavors of sambar from a south indian household, but than that's a different story.

I am right not sitting in an Air conditioned Cabin of a company in Bangalore, staring at an application, that would be used by millions of banking tellers. The screen isn't that attractive at all. It's rigid and performing a usability review of it would be a tedious task. How I wish it would look my girlfriend? I mean it would chat a lot, behave incorrectly, but at the same time look wonderful he he.

Again Mondays; I have given it a much thought over it and thought of listing down couple of tasks or things that one can do in order to beat the Monday blues. Try it at your own discretion:

Wake up really late on Monday. It's important that the weekend should not reflect your disappointment. So, pamper the weekend badly. Try to lengthen it by as much as you could possibly.

If you partied hard on weeknights, it's important that you should give rest to your body.

Spend much time in the bathrooms. Sing as many songs as you can, possibly to the loudest tones.

Lyrics do not matter much, but at the same time you do not wish to disturb the dogs of your tenant, possibly if she has a beautiful girl, who doesn't give any shit to what possibly you are, and how many times you have been to prison.

DON'T POLISH YOUR SHOES! let them look dirty. It's important that your office colleagues and classmates know how much efforts are you putting on your work. It's also a nice excuse to be asked to leave for the day,

When you reach office, look very drowsy. You should give an impression that everything is lost in your life. People should get a feeling of "why does this moron not leave".

Check your emails as soon as you reach office. Keep re-reading the emails and than putting them in the Trash folder. It not only improves your readability but also your skills on MS Outlook office increases.

Drink lots of coffee and develop a report on the "flavors of coffee". Ask others about the scripts. Please send a copy across to RAMGOPAL VARMA or KARAN JOHAR. Who knows RGV can make another spooky flick on this or Karan gets it in COFEE WITH KARAN SHOW.

Last, but the most important: Try giving wrong calls to other office mates :)

This is why I am dressed up like the pic above. Perform all this and you will be called Matrimonial Guruji IInd Version

Saturday, September 20, 2008

As I say Goobye to Infosys

This is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any of the characters is purely unintentional. Readers may blame themselves for reading it

Scene 1: CDG Pantry , 22nd June 2006
(Outside: it’s been raining cats and dogs for the last hour or so. Employees with their coffee cups in Terminal bldg.)

(Inside: Two new joiners’: Sameer and Rajdeep, a little nervous by the awe of pyramid building having a conversation. Sheets of Newspapers lying in the round table. A coffee vending machine, which has witnessed both the enthusiasts’ discussion.)

Take 1:
Sameer:”What an awesome building yaar! Great na”

Rajdeep: “Ya I know” (almost falling to sleep)

Sameer: "I always dreamt of working in Infosys. Man! I hope we have a great time here."

Rajdeep: "Ya I hope so". (Now gone almost)

In comes: Manish Nema (music of Sholay with Thakur’s entrance)

Sameer: "Hi, I am Sameer"

Manish: "So, you new joiners’ ahhh! Hey, what’s your name?"

Rajdeep: Giving a look to Manish (what does he think, super senior or what!) 'Rajdeep'

Manish sits now (a 5’4 fellow who Rajdeep felt has been shortened more by the projects)

Manish: "what Rajdeep? Full name?"

Sameer gives Rajdeep an elbow hint meaning "Tell na!"

Rajdeep: "Rajdeep Gupta"

Manish: "So, why you boys have joined Infosys?"

Sameer: "well, why? It’s any person’s dream job? It’s the number IT services
company, and my interest in designing has brought me here. I am sure I am going to have a great time here."

Manish: "And you Rajdeep."
Rajdeep: Almost swearing at Manish (Meet me outside, and I will show you)" I had to join somewhere, so here I am."

2 years and a month later....
Scene 2: CDG Pantry
Outside: it’s still raining outside....people still having coffee at terminal building
Inside: Sameer in Eye Tracking Lab, and Rajdeep filling DART. Manish has become a little taller and has a competitor in Josh.

In Comes Manish
Manish: "So Raj why did you join Infosys?"

Rajdeep: "I took 2 years to answer this. Why not! I joined Infosys to get a brand name attached to me career, and today when it’s time for me to leave the Infosys threshold, I am more than happy to make the choice. CDG not only infused a brand name to my career but made me confident in dealing client projects. I walked into a services unit after working in a product development, so experience in both the units were important to a writer’s career.

My colleagues have been more than supportive to me. Sometimes the projects have been monotonous, but as Sita and Mani told me once “Each project has something in to take off”, and how true you’re Sita."

Manish: "What you quitting! so, would you like to say something before you say bye?"

Rajdeep: "Well, I’ll miss all the fun activities in CDG, especially my colleagues and cubicle mates. I’ll miss the inspiring speeches of Sridhar that lifts me, and I am sure most of the CDGians. To be honest, CDG is a family to most of us, and no one likes going away. But then I have some dreams to chase, and so I need to take a different route. Oh, btw I will miss Casa Piccola- the Chicken Parimgana Yummmy."

Manish: “Any nick names attributed by CDG”

Rajdeep: “I –MAN’ for sometimes by Aakash and Porus, Saty called me “Ganguly Baba”,

Hanuwant calls me “Ki re Dada”, and to some people “Gupta Ji”.

Manish: "So, will you keep in touch?"

Rajdeep: "Love to. Please do email me on"

Manish: “Any Last words:”

Rajdeep: "Thank you CDG! Good bye and God bless! As the girlfriend says “excuse Rajdeep for his ignorance”...Hopefully, the next time we meet we have a bagful of success to discuss on"
Curtain Falls: 31st July 2008.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Reviewing: Google Chrome

In Marketing parlance: Once you have a brand name, you don’t need publicity at all. Google must be wondering and thanking stars for they have managed to save cash in not marketing for their latest product- Chrome. These chaps make world class online applications, and understandably are the ruling classes of online search engine.

This was much expected; Google has been giving sleepless nights to Microsoft over the past few years, and with its own Internet Browser ‘Chrome’ – Bill Gates you need to do some serious thinking.

Chrome released this week and within a few hours finds itself in the desktops of a few hundreds of computers. This numbers will keep on adding in the days to come, and much like Gmail- Google’s own internet email application, will dominate the market soon.

My assumptions of Chrome hitting the market and being the very best has got to quite a few factors but namely with the market war on Internet Browsers. Observe the scenario: a few years back when Internet became a household name, Microsoft’s Internet Explorer was the only thing available to the common man.

It was like if you wish to access the world wide web Internet Explorer were the only medium. Though Netscape was the primary browser, it soon fell down. Mozila acquired it. Within few years Mozilla came out with Firefox , which incidentally is an open source browser.

But the interesting part was it had lots of features, faster and bug free (almost). Till date though IE continues to dominate the browser scene with 50 % Firefox has slow and steady and caught up along with Apples Safari.

Faster: Initial days but Chrome is fast- real fast. Its interface is intuitive and just a few keystrokes and joom you are on. Downloading takes a lesser time compared with IE and firefox. Chrome uses Webkit (aka Apple Safari’s Engine) for rendering web pages.

By default, Chrome displays the top nine visited websites on the system on clicking a new tab. This identically gives you a preview to the history of the websites and also allows you the select any of the sites without any additional keystrokes.

The memory usage is very low when you think that it has varied security and javascript tookboxes.

It’s only released for Windows at the moment and will require sometime before its released for Linux.So all those Linux lovers, have patience folks!. Initial days, but I suggest you try installing and playing with it for sometime. You may come across with a few bugs here and there, but nevermind.

I love using Google apps , and I am in Totally for it. Well guys! time will tell, but for now much like the Mcdonald's product "I am loving it"