Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Infy main Quizmaster

Infy ke hall main mast dhaamal

My first quiz as a quizmaster in Infosys ..February 28th, 2007

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Suit up to kill chicks

Never thought I'd say this, but I am all grown up! Well the day has come, my friends. The day has come.

I've said it in this space before: Any man serious about the art of consistent romance needs to comprehend the following truism: Chicks love suits. Don't believe me? Visit any fine tailor or vendor of serious menswear and who do you find standing outside, all pressed up and panting against the glass? Chicks, that's who. Staring in, straining to catch a glimpse of your sophisticated virility. You know it, I know it, chicks know it, and finally your date knows it. Hopefully, technical writers know it too.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Count your chickens before you party!

(Readers note: The content reflects a 26 year old guy's mental trauma and has nothing to do with society at large. The writer is a well known potato in some industry,which are filled with people shouting and howling at each other; some profession pays for it.The reader is doing well presently and is on medication at large. Last seen at Opus. He has taken refuge for 2 years at the bar.

Alright first things first, take a bow before the lord almighty because what are you going to read at this section has nothing to do with God but everything to do with wordly things.

We all know Valentines Day's is an enormous, steaming pile of disappointment. A full year's worth of failed expectations and fizzled dreams wiped clear to make room for 365 more days of failed expectations and fizzled dreams.

This year? New strategy: party; I mean, parties are reflection of each individuals way of celebration. It is an occasion where he or she lets the world aware of their composition, hugging, dancing and communication skills and above all their all important DRINKING skills. Shucks! Raj, you gotta be kidding. "You aren't going to give gyaan on parties", screamed my colleague Neha. "You moron, I asked you thrice and all the time, you were out by the first dose", says Carol. Understandbly, this girls are correct. I mean I can't win against this 'Saturday Night Fever' and never make them understand.However, I will tip you on some secrets to party on a Valentines eve. (The comments do not reflect society as a whole but the mere status of Raj)

Total number of trips to the bathroom(monitored by toilet-flush count)

Number of Mallika Sherwat jokes attempted

Number of times you said "I love you' to her

Lots of Iodex, spill beans and cashew nuts

Guests to seat ratio (the floor does count)

Total beers consumed(bottle count)

Total attempts to hug and kiss (never allow sexual intimacy in house)Its a NO-NO for vegetarians!

No water in the house

Try to borrow the Moon for an evening; maybe, that's the last time you guys are viewing the moon together.

Flatter her/him with your comments (be honest sometimes)..Hey where's your friend Sharon, never seen her arms again? Stop kidding Raj, don't tell me you have a GF? she will run away for sure..well she did.. I swear..I did run like Tom Hanks did for Leonardo Di Caprio in Catch Me If You Can...if at any other level, I'ld have got India its first medal in 100 meters race.. anyway in my case, it was CATCH ME IF YOU HAVE MONEY...sorry, I don't have..that's one reason, girls don't date me after first evening.

Use some opening lines to strike to strangers. How about watching a female technical writer sipping coke and asking her "allow me to make it sweet"?...yaak! I know ....

Never force on her to drink. (Be a genteleman!) Haven't you read the great matrimonial guruji? He says "come one, come all! but never force anyone!)

Always drop her back home. Be a gentelman. You don't have a vehicle like me. Take it from your friend or if you wanna be a lil romantic,ask her if you can take her in your arms and drop her? Yaak, what's happening to you DUDE? I ain't carring a 65kg trolley.. But I do pay road tax?

all said and fine, guys have a great Valentines eve. Love and be loved, but most important ask yourself if you guys have all important but LOVE between each.

-Guruji on the other street

Monday, February 05, 2007

Invitation to Roomies for Raj's birthday bash


Greetings from Bangalore!

Just like every good thing has its own taste, so also every roomie has his duty to make his friends taste that sweetness. I take up this opportunity to invite all of you to my birthday bash

The details are below:

Chief Guests: Prabheesh, Bala and Shani

Dinner: 8:15pm
Venue: Tamarind (Opposite to IIPM Bangalore)

Followed up by
Movie: Rocky Balboa (Thanks Bala!)
Time: 10: pm

Popcorn + drinks: Prabheesh will decide (He owes me 11,500rs)

Special Treat: Raj’s pole dance

Auto Fare: Prabheesh + Bala

Mandatory: Third rate behaviour

Presents: Of course..Ted’s Black Blazer suits me well + Lui Phillipe .....(White)

Be there at time

High Five!