Monday, June 29, 2009

Shadow of Leechers

Priya sat before the mirror and examined her breasts. She was angry and quizzical of her body. She took that comb of hers and started brushing her hairs rigorously. It is this body which has become her enemy, once epicenter of million hearts , is today being leeched upon. Tears rolled down from her eyes and shivered her a bit.

At about 10 in the morning, the Madiwala market in Bangalore seem to stop functioning. There were whisperings all around as she made her way into the market. Dressed often in a Pink saree draped nicely over her slender figure, Priya was the onlookers delight.

Locks of her officially complimented long hairs were something to be looked by men, and envied by women. Cherry full-lips, curvy brows, a protruding nose and deep black eyes made her one of the most attractive females to walk into that market.Shopkeepers would give anything to have her in their shops. Her one glimpse was enough to melt the coconut hearts of the vegetable vendors. Long after she left, there were still fuming with ecstasy with most of them still unable to take out their hands locked inside their lungis (a cloth worn by men down). At nights the vendors while making out with their wives would fancy her in the beds.

But, no one had the guts to actually speak against her. She was the wife of an Indian Navy officer. But! gossip mongrels would never stop. That she was the wife of Indian officer and staying alone in that big house of Koramangala often raised questions. She had a maid who when asked told that Priya was an extremely nice woman who kept her busy with cooking and household stuffs.

But they were quizzical of her other activities. Had she got a man visiting her house? she is so hot', how can she not have a man? oh! she must be a treacherous female'. There were comments flying round everywhere.

It was Friday. Pakistan and India were fighting for the pursuit of Kargil. News flashed that in the process of it fighting, Priya's husband had laid down his life for the cause of nation. Priya was shocked. Her life was finished. She had no one in world to turn to. And over that the man seem to find a way to get into her.

The onlookers now had developed courage to apprehend and question her. In the name of sympathies, they would touch her. Older men had got more time now to leech about her, younger men wouldn't mind anything to ogole at her body.That she had a beautiful body added to her status of widow made her an example of 'pittance & compassion'. Priya was tired of all this. In the job interviews she attended, there were an extra ease of comfort from the interviewer. They would not mind to ask her to meet outside for the job.

Priya sat before the mirror and examined her breasts. She was angry and quizzical of her body. She took that comb of hers and started brushing her hairs rigorously. It is this body which has become her enemy, once epicenter of million hearts , is today being leeched upon. Tears rolled from her eyes and tucked her a bit.

She had a look into her womanhood, and thought if she required a man to at least balance in this world of man. But Man!! who would not leech upon her? But what! if he did? Fine, at least she would get some support. She wiped away her tears. There was no point in crying. It had just started raining. The monsoon had an early set in. Priya stepped outside in search for a job.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ho Gayi Hai Mohabbat Tumse

I am not a good writer, so apologies for any mistake. I wonder if anyone of you have been in love, but if you do, then maybe you can read the following lines.

A day that was never to be seen
A week never remembered
A second that passed without notice
A life broken into two
Love actually lived there

The porous body evoking emotions
Color conversion to dark
Eyes that only saw you
The lips always praising you
Love actually lived there

Words that never touched her heart
Roads that led to her house
Flowers that never lost their moisture
Her golden skin that never lost the shine
Love actually lived there

The Orkut scraps with her name
The muscut perfume bearing her fame
The fear of losing you
Love actually lived there

Morning prayers for her long life
Places meant to be together
Intertwined destiny
A reason to live
Love actually lived there

Friday, June 26, 2009

An Ode to MJ

Dear MJ,

I woke up this morning to receive one of the worst pieces of news to my youthful life: The King of Pop is no more. Usually,I have this habit of checking my emails and scraps early morning to respond to any important businesses.

However, this news, which flashed on Rediff and later on NDTV, made me completely down. I am not a person who shows random emotions, but I fell that MJ-you would be missed badly.

In my younger years, I have watched THRILLER and BAD videos so much that my mom had to cajole me with chocolates to persuade me to go to school. In later years, I wanted to show a few moves to girls, but badly turned a sorry figure. I never could dance.This is a fact.
I think I missed a chance to meet MJ in real when you came down to India. Unfortunately, you met a few dumbo Bollywood stars in Mumbai. I was in Bangalore at that time studying for my examinations and missed the chance to meet you, or see you performing live.

Well! I am still choked with emotions, but being a star you had seen everything-from poverty to a crazy stud THRILLER video, which sold 50 million copies worldwide. Your style and persona from which even Bappida and Prabhu Deva imitated is known worldwide. When you speak about Dance, you talk about MJ. History will always remember you.

There are a few celebrities that I would have wished to met- Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and you. Unfortunately, God has called all of you up. I guess whom the Gods love they die young. May MJ you rest in peace!

I conclude with my favorite song lyrics:

Liberian girl . . .
You came and you changed
My world
A love so brand new
Liberian girl . . .
You came and you changed
Me girl
A feeling so true

Yours ardent fan

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I have been quizzed most of the times by curious people. I guess my obscure little figure demonstrated curiosity. I tend to be simple and in the following set of questions that have been randomly asked to me, I have tried to be as honest as I can.

Sometime back, my ex-girlfriend while browsing one of my posts told me that I was not being honest in responding to questions. Here, I am being honest and as usual will be waiting for your responses. It's titled ALL ABOUT ME. Enjoy!

But if I were to describe myself: I am adventurous and live my life to the fullest. I am not afraid of a challenge and tend to be on the competitive side. Although I am a person who can get physical with this comical figure, I never neglect the wise attitude I carry. I am smart and when it comes to making decisions, I always think before I act. And last, I always love learning from my dates.

Your ex and You: Kinda friends
Which relationship sounds more appealing?: Someone who would want to start a family with me
I am listening to: Black Sabbath
Maybe I should: Think about my future and be a less sensitive
I love: small things
I don't understand: Women
I have lost my respect for: People who cannot stand against for their rights
The meaning of my display name is: Love guru
I will always be: the best and a simple guy
Love seems to: hurt
I never ever want to lose: ma family and friends
I get annoyed when: people show off
Do you like parties?: yes
Today I: wrote a new post on ma blog
I wish: I can be the same mama's boy he he

First best friend : Mickey
First sport you joined : Cricket
First vacation : Shillong
First concert : Aerosmith
First crush : Class 4 for ma English teacher

What were you doing at midnight last night: reading the holy bible
Name something you CANNOT wait for: Kisses
Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes
Most visited webpage: http://matrimonialguru.blogspot.comnds

Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Black
Height: 5'7
Profession: Writer
Relationship Status: very much single
Religious Views: come one and come all

Favorite Color: Black
Favorite Car: Maruti 800
Favorite Movie: Pulp Fiction
Favorite Hobby: Dating
Favorite Song/Singer: Kishore Kumar
Favorite Book/Author: RK Narayan
Favorite School Subject: English
Favorite Vacation Destination: Goa
Favorite Food: Chinese and whatever mom cooks
Favorite Store: Marks and Spencers
Favorite Celebrity : Mr.Bachchan and Robert De Niro
Favorite Childhood Friend: Mickey
Favorite Childhood Memory: The first time I proposed and that was to my teacher
Favorite Baby Name: Golu
Favorite Person In Your Life: All my ex girlfriends

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Rape Continues....

It happened yesterday, it happened today and it will happen tomorrow. On the records, it happened before I came to this world. R.A.P.E- four-letter deadly venom keeps on scattering its poison with each second, and every time it happens, MAN looks immensely coward and shameful bastards. What are we MAN upto?

Are not we a civilized enough to display our bravery in a war zone rather than forcing a weak girl, or a woman for a forceful sex? I am not going to say against Shiney Ahuja, the latest Bollywood actor to hit the scandalous world of shame, but to ask a simple question- When it will stop.

A friend of mine once said, “Man can never allow or view a woman to be superior to him in any ranks. His ego hurts. “I never understood this until and unless I had my first break-up.

When my ex-gf got a job as a fashion designer, she came to my home, cooked lunch for me and after we made love, she started speaking about her salary. Interestingly, I felt a little remorse. I am a simple writer and in those days, I earned enough to keep myself happy. Therefore, I was little jealous of her.

Also, her routine allowed her to meet a lot of male counterparts, which after sometime became objectionable to me. I started questioning her more and things became such that I could not trust her more.

I think it is because of my immature behavior and male-ego that this relationship failed. What! I was doing was also raping her soul more and more. It necessarily need not be physical but even mistrust can begot rape.

Shiney confessed that he had consensual sex with the victim, but he was surprised that she had filed a case against her. I am surprised with the media. Any celebrity performing any actions becomes a news breaker item to them. They cajole it in every channel and brand him as a victim. My question is why don’t you do it for every other woman who has been raped?

Just because the accused is a celebrity, it necessarily does not account to such double-standards? Yes, we are witnessing double standards. And this is projected by only the people who self-proclaim to be the eyes of the common people. But! These folks are also masala driven.

Any news channel spends half-of the time talking about Aishawary and Abhishek’s sneezing than describing the potholes in Bangalore. Why? Because it sells!.. Then call yourself an entertainment channel rather a news channel.

I am fuming with anger, but I cannot do anything. Just like another random guy speaking and criticizing about atrocities in the society, my actions will be limited to.

I hope we see our government rising up and the courts passing a decree that the rapists irrespective of rich or poor, famous or just another guy face the same consequences. After all Justice delayed is justice denied. I can only hope. My commiseration to that poor girl; I can only hope that she gets the justice.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Every Woman Needs 3 Man

A friend of mine once said, "every woman needs 3 men-one for adventure and fun, one for stimulating conversation and one for Good sex." Peter was all three. It was good to be true though.

Peter's love for adventure took him to the isles of Macau. That was 5 years back.Relationships cannot be tied to a rope and let it hung there for all along.

Carol's tryst to make a relationship work often made things difficult for it to sustain. She wanted every relationship to be similar experience as with Peter. In and out she knew it was impossible but she kept on trying.

Sometimes during the initial conversation with a stranger, she felt that this guy was caring in his talks; at best when they kissed she found him to be extremely affectionate, in their moments of ecstasy he seem to know where to go slow and when to be fast.

But, in the morning, when she woke up and found herself with a stranger, she didn't know why, but a lot of questions used to pop-up in her mind- Had this stranger been unfaithful to her? Had she enjoyed the love-making with this stranger? The oblivion answer to that question lies in her closed door 2 hours shower.

Sinked in the bathtub, carol is motionless. She has cried a lot so much that the tears in her face seem to have dried away. Her passionate romance with Peter seems to be an obstacle today to move on with her life. How she had longed for the time.

Unlike Peter, sex is always a physical game for most men. During Carol' survey of wild sex she encountered ninety four percent of men seeking sex in the animated form. For them sex need not prescribe to the notion of being loved. Yes love is a part of it, not the heart of it. Sex was always a beast-like affair. One that involved huge fight-like encounter, with both partners wanting for more.

This is so because for them, sex is only sex and nothing more. Its more like a pornographic movie, the more the better.

At times Carol finds herself amiss. She thinks that too much of thinking towards sex has made her a real pervert. Men perceive her to be an instrument of joy. Has her logic of 3 man in life portrayed a degree of 'lustiness' ? Carol does not know where to look for the answers.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ignorance in a Transition Project

Deep is back from the office- a place that he has been going punctually for some time off late, and trust me it sucks big time. Na na!! do not think that Deep is not a workaholic. It is just that Deep preferred alcohol and work separate,and trust me it worked wonder. Deep just got over a transition project. The entire project which ran in the gore-lagon-ki duniya main has come offshore to Bangalore.

Needless, to say such a transition does not happen without an iota of suspicion. We are running into the 62 years of Indian Independence, and still the doubt- can these third world countries execute core development work from offshore? It feels good when all of these suspicion are laid off to rest. In this piece, I will share a conversation that happen over a meeting between Deep and a manager in offshore.

Deep is always surprised when managers calls him to their cubicle. Deep is happy if there is an opposite gender female ready to offer me a cup of coffee at any day or evening, for that he is ready to drink any bashing. It is a fact that he gets more bashing from his girlfriend than love.

But anyway, the manager called him up, and he gave Deep a brief outline of the project and asked him a random question: how is it going? Now, "how is it going" and "you are an asset to the company" are two random statements from any manager. Deep didn't know at what sense he has judged him, but felt good. Also,Deep is not used to compliments, so whenever and whatever comes along, he accepted it gleefully.

After initial haansi mazak he asked Deep how was the work going. Deep told him what he felt. But, then he dropped a bomb. He said that since it is a transition project, it has to be done in a very discreet fashion. There were onsite people in the project who were losing and had lost jobs because of the transition. In a nutshell:he told Deep to be careful. The knowledge transfer needs to be completed smoothly, and even if he had identified any issues, it has to be tucked inside the coffin. Interesting, Interesting!!!Deep thought his post-lunch sleeping secret would also come out.

Deep came back out of the room understanding a major point- in the near future if there are issues, and you go back to the team citing an earlier observations from the onsite team, they would blame you for not taking it earlier. Deep sat on the chair and started thinking. For the first time, he understood that politics has found a place in the IT Projects. The cellphone beeped: "come down for tea". Like every other IT fella, Deep took a walk with a mug of tea. Only this time, the tea-break wasn't late as usual.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

A to Z of Bengali

No pun intended, but couple of the observations make sense.

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'Vest Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke the 7th unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for 5th cup of tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time....Bhishon Bhalo and Bibhotso.... though means opposite ...used for same situations.. .depending on the Beauty of fairer sex...are close ...almost in a tie for second spot....

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumoley ebar Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at creations of God himself !!

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim! and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girl will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et cetera.

H is for Harmonium. This Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for Ileesh. This is a feeesh with 10,987 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No selfrespecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol'with mysterious condiments.. . as in Maachher Jhol is a close second. Jhaamela and Jachhetai are distant 3rd and 4th

K is for Kee Kaando! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai.Kee mushkil is a close second.

L is for Lungi, the dress for all occa! sions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

M is for Minibaas. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are MOHUNBAGAN and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Koshchen (question) as in "Mamatadi! koshchens Cheap Ministaar in Writaars Buiding."

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second!

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer, that too a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk....Trams are still existing in Paris see !

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and ! scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1939.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur)?. It is also for Jubraj Shingh and Joga.

Z is for Jebra, Joo, and Jipper.