Sunday, July 04, 2010

I should but sorry I can't!

Dear Raj,
I was surfing net when I chanced to get your number on a portal. Interestingly, the portal speak volumes of your intelligence discussing topic-based issues. I do not think it is an issue at this moment, but I fear it may gradually build up to be an issue. I wish to know what you sense about the topic, and what should I do at this stage. 

I have been married for last two years and been blessed with a loving husband. Ritesh is extremely caring and God-fearing man. He works for an advertisement firm in Bangalore looking after the client services department of the firm. At a young age of 35, Ritesh has build a name of his own. I am proud to see that he has build up everything from scratch. 

We have a lovely bungalow in a posh locality of Cunnigham Road and he has provided me with every luxury which life can offer. It is at this behest I stopped working and though I take a week off to do some freelance work, I have been  detached from professional assignments for a long time.
Honestly, I am enjoying this break- it was getting a long, monotonous journey of working on software applications and I feel good now.

Offlate, I see Ritesh coming late to home. He has also stopped calling me up during office hours and there has been quite a gap in our relationship. Though we make love occasionally the heat has dried up. We seem to be in bed -two bodies but there has been something missing. I have confronted Ritesh on this but he feels that everything is going good, and I have been apprehensive of nothing.

It was at this moment I started browsing Internet and in one of the social networks I met Javed. My purpose of surfing, trust me, was to kill my boredom. How would I have known that I would get into this situation? Javed is a painter, roughly around the age of 26, well-built and carries a beard. He resembles that of a Shantiniketan artistic fellow. Since, I come from a creative junk of people from Chakroborthy family, I liked him.

Javed' profile and albums were interesting. To think from an artistic sense, the paints were all of women who were lonely in their lives and needed some thing to fill in. I sense I understood those superficial acquaintances that can cure social loneliness won't touch the emotional variety, and Javed seem to touch them.

After a few days of chatting, I met him for coffee. It was nice meeting him. But, not something with a love relationship, any close relationship requires a certain amount of "chemistry," that click that comes with finding a kindred spirit. Again, just as with chemistry and love, it becomes a "numbers game." We need to meet a lot of people to find our kindred spirits. Meeting a lot of people requires a lot of effort. And it does not happen quickly. What do you say?

We started meeting and slowly and I have started coming closer to Javed. I am wondering if I am suffering from any type of loneliness, which is perhaps one of the reasons why I am getting so attached to Javed. I hope you have time to go through this mail and patience to respond.
Best wishes,

No comments: