Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Ek Phool Aur Char Malayali!

People meetup accidentaly and when you do think that your life is all calm and happy, somewhere down the lane-you meet up some really lousy buggers. My life changed and it wasn't the same from the day I met up with this Mallus.

I still remember the date (actually am forced to remember it), the day the Mallus came to our abode. Life has been different altogether from that day onwards. It has changed and in one word-survival of the fittest.

May 8th, 2005 somewhere at 20:00 hours, as I was busy watching SRK dancing to the tunes of Mallika's KAAL, six MAHA KAAL's entered the room. Initially, they looked sceptical and buggers of every sort, you might say-straight from the jail.

My first recollection was "oh my God! do I need to share my room with this dirty buggers?". But you know what, sometimes life offers you a chance to experience the best in lieu of Prabheesh, Balaji, Sooraj, Zulfi and Sachin

Now, am not here to actually give you a day-by-day experience of these pathetic mallus. I will just share certain anecdotes of them. It's not going to be a 3 hr Bollywood movie cos we have a certain heroes out here and not to forget one sweet heroine.

So, fasten ur seat belts, take the pop-corns (Bala, don't snatch those, so just ask for it) and let's begin it..

Please note all the above characters are real and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional.

Producer: Pooja Hostel Films Pvt.Ltd
Directed by: Rajdeep Gupta

Tong Tong Tong......and the curtain rises.......Applause Please!!!!!!!!!

Name: Prabheesh Kattambil aka Shanku
Age: 40 physically, 10 mentally
Occupation: Junior Software Engineer in Accenture (God knows!)
Residence: Pooja Hostel
Awards: Voted as India's answer to Undertaker (Ask Zulfi)
What to watch out! A weekend comedy session at TIME
Marital Status: Single and yet so romantic

Presenting the coolest, suave and dynamic professional Prabheesh Katambil. Pardon me, if you have already broken some teets pronouncing his name. Prabheesh or prabs or prabu or shanku works for Accenture as a Junior Software Engineer. Now, that's what you know!

Though sometimes, we have been told he has been downloading softwares for his project manager, asked to learn adobe photoshop and do NOTHING-yes, simply don't do anything. He comes from a place called Calicut (The land of...fill in the blanks and get a toffy) and everytime he opens his mouth, you know he is straight from there. Prabs was working in Convergys as a Technical Support before he decided to jump into Accenture. The CBI is still investigating as how prabheesh got selected in Accenture. Ask him and he will tell that he was worth of it.

We know his worthyood. Prabheesh stays in Pooja Hostel and has a very unpredictable mood sometimes. He had to constantly bear the brunts and kicks of his boss and more than often Balaji and yours truly have to calm him.

Above all, Prabs is a very nice guy, always ready to help others and share things with people. Bala am I right?

What to watch out?

Prabheesh's memorable CAT stint in March.

For further enquires, contact Balaji Kottaram.
HERO N0 2:
Name: Ballaji Kottaram aka Bala
Age: 25 physically, 5 mentally
Occupation: Software Engineer in Wipro (God knows!)
Residence: Pooja Hostel
Awards: Voted as the next Arjun Rampal of Cochin (Ask Zulfi)
What to watch out! His habit of asking and using prabheesh things.
Marital Status: Commited and seeing Himangshu

This article is incomplete without the mere touch of the style icon. I call him the 'Mallu with a difference'. Needless to say, Balaji Kottaram or is it Kuttaram, shocks me everytime with his accent. He is very stylish and takes a good care of the clothes he wears--maybe a 89 rupees t-shirt from Cabana wouldn't do his justice but so what, Aamir Khan's Tapori style in Rangeela wasn't bad too.

Off-late, Balaji has started to remodel himself in the looks of Arjun Rampal. So much that he even remodelled his hairs in Rampal's looks. This is evident more since Balaji, a constant bankrupt (earning 20, 000 rs now)would never buy toothpaste, soaps, hair cream, mosquitoes repellent but Sir! wants every luxury element in his life.

Balaji works for Wi-pro---and guess! he's in EMBEDDED SYSTEMS (Pun intended!)I share a great deal of rapport with this guy and has been consoling him for the past month or so after his famous 'appraisal'. Likes to hit the Purple Haze on weekends and has a crush on Himangshu. Now! did I'say 'guy with a difference'

What to watch out?

Balaji's much sponsored marriage in December 2006.

Name: Zulfikar Ali aka Zulfi
Age: 60 physically, 2 mentally
Occupation: Networking or maybe Line Man in ITN-Emirates Bank, Sharjah (Onsite professional!)
Residence: Some Tent in Gullllf...
Awards: Voted as India's answer to Charles Sobraj and Harshad Mehta (Ask Citibank)
What to watch out! His long distance calls ....
Marital Status: Dating Tanya Mathew

Oh boy! this guy is so far off from me now...Read an extract of his mails:

What happened guys?? No messages from you guys BACK in INDIA… hey, Is that true, bali and simon from IT coming to dubai for a project?

Ask them to contact firoz for any kinda assistance.

Now, Zulfi presently is in Dubai right now and in case, you are wondering how is he doing in his life, read the below email:

Though I am cherishing the moment now, I’m not happy.. I miss my country and my friends.. wish I could serve my India also in avaya ip configuration etc.

What to do guys… time and destiny have taken me across the “arabi kadal” and made me serve here. But no issue.. raj as I always say .. money is not a prob… it’s the mental satisfication. Of course, they pay me good, but mentally I’m there in that Pooja hostel.

At times I even consider myself to be shahrukh khan of swades. One day u can see me configuring BSNL phones of State Bank.(hope it doesn’t happen)…..

The bank is VERY MUCH SATISFIED with my service… I have fans now.. I have looks, money,style,personality..everything… but I miss my friends…..

Tell me buggers… what u want….. feel free….. ..please… atleast for now.. atleast for JOKE demand something…

Now this great gentelman has records--CITIBANK, CONVERGYS AND Pooja Hostel, Zulfi hasn't spare anyone. A very hardworking individual, when he was in Bangalore, used to look after our rooms while we were working hard in IT companies.

He had to bear Asharf's spit, Balaji's farts, Prabheesh kicks and , but he didn't complain. We gave him a small space to stay in the hostel and was happy since he had the world's most desirable girlfriend Tanya Mathew.Tanya in her words, "I desperately need your friendship."

Zulfi has achieved both success and recognition in his life now. In his words (I don't know if this mail is also a tampering one)
This is to bring to your notice that Zulfiqar was here till late night to reconfigure all the IP phones after the sudden power shut down

That we had today at 6:30 pm and will confirm to all of you by tomorrow morning before 7am that all the phone has been reconfigured

And ready to use.

Raed A. Hammoud
BUZz Contact Center Solution
I hope you guys have to understand that this famous personality.

Ha Ha! so the introduction doesn't end here-- I have to say, it's a long awaiting (though prabheesh has awaited more in Swagath Theatre than these), we have a heroine too...

Himangshu is the darling choice of all of them. He has had a crush on Balaji for many years now and as prabs will says "Bala, where u going?" Himangshu had a time with Zulfi too and they regularly played some pranks. Read this mail to know all about it:
Zulfi: Da plz send me himangshu's mail id.. I wanna send hima a mail.

And the Leading lady is .....

Name: Himangshu Kumar aka Chahcu
Age: 28 physically, 45 mentally (Bihari hai bhai!)
Occupation: Software Engineer in Accenture (Prabheesh's colleague..did I hear Bala falling down!)
Residence: Pooja Hostel
Awards: Voted as the next Indian Cricket Commentator
What to watch out! Expert in any issue..can talk nonchalantly for hours on any topic.
Marital Status: Seeing Balaji and Zulfi (Onsite)

"Hi Zulfi
I am fine here.i came to know about you from shanid.Everything is working fine in pooja Hostel .But we are definitely miising your prank.

Hope to see u soon in Bangalore.

With lots of love

Well guys ! Lemme end here---I really understand that all of you are trying to build up in your career and I wish you all the best!

All the best for the coming years!

The author is a prolific and dignified name in the world of writing. He is the author of many Bollywood reviews and works as an Information Developer for a leading Mobile technology company. An outstanding performer, he has been often been called 'India's answer to Shakespeare'...In one words--simply the best. You can reach him at


Poornima.M said...

if you want to be happier in your work,keep ur eyes open,make sure your skills are up to date,and be alert to opportunities in ur field..i think dis is what Mr.Raj is trying to do...
but am still wondering y is'nt it
"Ek Phool Aur Phaanch Malayali!"
People also wish to know bout author..

smile 2 kill said...

tryin 2 analyise only through da cover.......waitin 4 da rest 2 uncover........
but amazing command over words.....
really impressive........