Monday, May 18, 2009

An Adventure in Hard Rock Cafe

Many of you who have written to me off-list suggesting me of spicing up my blog, I intend to bring cardamom from the market to do it. For those who think I am lucky, the answer is 'By lucky’, I need not explain what I meant but in every course of life you have some share of experiences, and I got my share with a pinch of love.

Anyway, coming back to this latest episode that happened in a Hard Rock Café in a very popular Indian City, I offer my humblest apologies to my so-called competitors in a bid to converse-whose-the-spiciest-girl amongst competition

The evening had been a wonderful one and it had everything right from music to amazing food and drinks. Women can be seldom ignored at these situations and every norm of superlative form can be attributed to them. In these situations, they are usually addressed as Sexy, but I chose to address them as Smoky!!!

Situations lead to interesting results, but I believe it’s good to have low-expectations set in order to get the desired results. If the café had nearly 300 people that night, out of which 200 were guys, then the girls as expected would be 100. But what makes numbers interesting are the numbers 100 viewed by 2*200 man’ eyes, so almost 400 eyes were viewing the 100 odd girls.

Now, consider these out of these 100 odd girls on a Saturday night, in a Hard rock café, I guess 90 of them would have arrived there with their guys (it’s a different story of whom they leave with)..so that leaves only 10 girls. Now these 10 girls will have either a combination of 5 groups of 2 each, or say 2 groups of 5 each. Am I making sense here?

Now, we have to leave 90 committed guys out from the 200 men..so that will make 110 men of which 10 will be likely to be homosexual. so now, 100 odd guys will be up for the competition for 10 girls. This number becomes more interesting when you check the homely appetite of 100 odd guys with Tequila, Whisky, Beer and so on.

After bracing all of these, I sensed 5 chicks in a table, extremely smoky and each with attitude. We were 5 guys if my memory serves me right; my memory had suffered a great deal after my ex-gf started eating my head he he…So, unlucky throughout the night and a reputation of being a dude, I was approached by couple of my friends to go ahead with this competition.

The round table conference that we had for 5 minutes witnessed various levels of high-pitched emotions. All around the table there were sparks flying of who would go first and approach the girls. Someone in the group mentioned of how smitten he was of the girls’ beauty and how his mom would fancy her as his eligible bahu. Some expressed their fanciful desires of candle night dinner with her.

It all started as a challenge of who can pick up one of the 5 chicks’ no. God himself was reluctant to initially of the plan. Bhaktjan squad decided to wait and watch. I quickly assessed the situation, understood our limitations and changed the plan a bit. As stated earlier being practical always helps.

After looking at those smoky hot chickens, we knew where we stood. We were neither models or hunks, but simple fellas whose fame can be compared to paunches of their stomach. I saw no chance of getting a vibe from the girl forget about the cell no. So, I changed the deal a bit. Now, I was given a cult status of a guruji here, so my words are taken as solemn.

I said guys let one of us go and speak to one of them, while the rest can watch the fun. Everyone nodded their heads approvingly. Bhagwan added on a bit of twist saying that he will be the second lead to this momentous expedition.

We were 20 steps away from the table of girls. In front of us lies the border strength of handsome hunks and would-be-actors. I knew it is a tedious task to go and approach them all. I picked up the nearest girl to the door. As I started, the God next to me also started walking.


I went ahead of him, and almost every time wondering if I will be able to deliver a perfect line. From far across the distant, I think she got scared as this divine creature walked upto her. It almost felt like the world froze for the instant. I went straight, stood near the table and waited for her to look. The chances of being procrastinated as a waiter seemed not bad, but wavered a bit for since the waiters had a uniform and thankfully! I wasn't wearing one.

She looked up and so far as I can remember I uttered certain lines. Trust me! it wasn't the best of the few lines that I ever spoke, but she somehow turned towards me and said thank you. God later told me that she showed a very disgustingly thanks. Chalo! maybe my trick didn't work. But to be honest, I think I conveyed the message to her. We left the place, but all throughout out the journey my friends kept on applauding the adventure.

I myself felt a bit I don't know comical, serious and out of touch. But hindsight, I knew it was a job well-done. Jab dil main hain kuch baat, then folks go ahead and express. Have confidence. We all can't be John Abraham, but if we can present our self with a good sense of humor the chances of getting a girl is more. Trust me..some years of experience this guy has doing the dishes.

1 comment:

nafisa said...

Well-done!!! You have a sense of humor that comes aptly in your writing.