Thursday, February 11, 2010

What's with the 'Firangi' Bahus!!!

I am penning this piece post-conversation with a friend, who refuses to acknowledge that he would be compatible with Indian girls (hereafter, referred to as 'desis')or girls who are born as Indians. He has been in look out for an 'angrez' or 'European' girl right from the day, he left India for his first onsite trip.

His parents, a scene right from a Bollywood movie, are searching for a bahu, who will bear the mark of sati-savitri. But though he has vehemently denied any request of him getting tied up with a desi bahu, he does not have the balls to raise voices against his parents.

The situation presently is that he has met a single mother from Germany, and is all set to marry her, with yours truly being one of the witnesses.
My friend, who also is one of the domain experts of the Banking product, that I am involved with, is a nice human being. Our friendship blossomed first with work, and then it scaled up with Rock music.

During one of the frequent trips to the Legend of the Rocks, Bangalore when I was hitting on some desis' chicks, I found him to be extremely aloof. Thinking it may be one of his prayer days, I decided to quiz him later.

To my amusement, he sternly responded "mujhe yeh Indian ladkiyas pasand nahin hain". I thought maybe it is a case of the heated moment, but the day he pronounced this directly to another colleague, she was all in red eyes. I then thought "Boy! it is an issue with him."

His logic is simple: I am incompatible with desis, and I do not like the way they think, act and talk. I do not wish to live them and make my life a mess. I have been hearing this for a long time, and I think it is everybody' preference to choose and marry the girl they wish to. Religion or caste should not come as an hindrance. I too like angrez and vidhesi kudiyas, but to demarcate a line and say Indian girls are poor in every sense-I find it extremely hurtful and basically fake.

That he is born of Indian parents- a mother who taught him how to crawl and walk, the first language of his mother tongue. She is even ready to accept a videshi bahu, but she wants to have a talk with her before she does that.

If you have spent some years in Kerala, you will know how orthodox people are there. She also has to stay with the society, and bear the brunt of it. They are even contemplating of selling the property in Kerala and settling down in Ahmedabad.

My ex-gf, a Malaylee told me once that even if she told her parents that she loves me and will not marry anybody except me, her parents will find it difficult to accept. Because:they all have to live in a society, and have to contastly get this nagging. Sometimes, I wonder if we choose the society or the society does.

I feel he is doing the correct thing; there is no point in getting married to a desi, and then getting separated. You are doing a great sin for you have no right to play with a sacred institution like marriage. I think, if he is sure that he will be comfortable with a videshi wife, then let it be.

The big thing is he should not cheat his parents, and should not hide and get married to her. It may come as a shocker to them, but all they want is their son' happiness as does every parents.

As I get prepared to attend another client call, I hear that my friend already has put on an angrezi accent and started talking to the client. Good for him!

1 comment:

Sreeraj said...

Sir, Kerala is less orthodox than the rest of India. A large number of youngsters working abroad have married people from other regions. The scene in Kerala's cities and towns is less orthodox than anywhere else. May be you are right; the scene in North Kerala may be slightly different.