Every Woman Needs 3 Man

A friend of mine once said, "every woman needs 3 men-one for adventure and fun, one for stimulating conversation and one for Good sex." Peter was all three. It was good to be true though.

Peter's love for adventure took him to the isles of Macau. That was 5 years back.Relationships cannot be tied to a rope and let it hung there for all along.

Carol's tryst to make a relationship work often made things difficult for it to sustain. She wanted every relationship to be similar experience as with Peter. In and out she knew it was impossible but she kept on trying.

Sometimes during the initial conversation with a stranger, she felt that this guy was caring in his talks; at best when they kissed she found him to be extremely affectionate, in their moments of ecstasy he seem to know where to go slow and when to be fast.

But, in the morning, when she woke up and found herself with a stranger, she didn't know why, but a lot of questions used to pop-up in her mind- Had this stranger been unfaithful to her? Had she enjoyed the love-making with this stranger? The oblivion answer to that question lies in her closed door 2 hours shower.

Sinked in the bathtub, carol is motionless. She has cried a lot so much that the tears in her face seem to have dried away. Her passionate romance with Peter seems to be an obstacle today to move on with her life. How she had longed for the time.

Unlike Peter, sex is always a physical game for most men. During Carol' survey of wild sex she encountered ninety four percent of men seeking sex in the animated form. For them sex need not prescribe to the notion of being loved. Yes love is a part of it, not the heart of it. Sex was always a beast-like affair. One that involved huge fight-like encounter, with both partners wanting for more.

This is so because for them, sex is only sex and nothing more. Its more like a pornographic movie, the more the better.

At times Carol finds herself amiss. She thinks that too much of thinking towards sex has made her a real pervert. Men perceive her to be an instrument of joy. Has her logic of 3 man in life portrayed a degree of 'lustiness' ? Carol does not know where to look for the answers.

Ignorance in a Transition Project

Deep is back from the office- a place that he has been going punctually for some time off late, and trust me it sucks big time. Na na!! do not think that Deep is not a workaholic. It is just that Deep preferred alcohol and work separate,and trust me it worked wonder. Deep just got over a transition project. The entire project which ran in the gore-lagon-ki duniya main has come offshore to Bangalore.

Needless, to say such a transition does not happen without an iota of suspicion. We are running into the 62 years of Indian Independence, and still the doubt- can these third world countries execute core development work from offshore? It feels good when all of these suspicion are laid off to rest. In this piece, I will share a conversation that happen over a meeting between Deep and a manager in offshore.

Deep is always surprised when managers calls him to their cubicle. Deep is happy if there is an opposite gender female ready to offer me a cup of coffee at any day or evening, for that he is ready to drink any bashing. It is a fact that he gets more bashing from his girlfriend than love.

But anyway, the manager called him up, and he gave Deep a brief outline of the project and asked him a random question: how is it going? Now, "how is it going" and "you are an asset to the company" are two random statements from any manager. Deep didn't know at what sense he has judged him, but felt good. Also,Deep is not used to compliments, so whenever and whatever comes along, he accepted it gleefully.

After initial haansi mazak he asked Deep how was the work going. Deep told him what he felt. But, then he dropped a bomb. He said that since it is a transition project, it has to be done in a very discreet fashion. There were onsite people in the project who were losing and had lost jobs because of the transition. In a nutshell:he told Deep to be careful. The knowledge transfer needs to be completed smoothly, and even if he had identified any issues, it has to be tucked inside the coffin. Interesting, Interesting!!!Deep thought his post-lunch sleeping secret would also come out.

Deep came back out of the room understanding a major point- in the near future if there are issues, and you go back to the team citing an earlier observations from the onsite team, they would blame you for not taking it earlier. Deep sat on the chair and started thinking. For the first time, he understood that politics has found a place in the IT Projects. The cellphone beeped: "come down for tea". Like every other IT fella, Deep took a walk with a mug of tea. Only this time, the tea-break wasn't late as usual.

A to Z of Bengali

No pun intended, but couple of the observations make sense.

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'Vest Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke the 7th unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for 5th cup of tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time....Bhishon Bhalo and Bibhotso.... though means opposite ...used for same situations.. .depending on the Beauty of fairer sex...are close ...almost in a tie for second spot....

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumoley ebar Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times....as creations of God himself !!

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim! and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girl will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et cetera.

H is for Harmonium. This Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for Ileesh. This is a feeesh with 10,987 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No selfrespecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol'with mysterious condiments.. . as in Maachher Jhol is a close second. Jhaamela and Jachhetai are distant 3rd and 4th

K is for Kee Kaando! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai.Kee mushkil is a close second.

L is for Lungi, the dress for all occa! sions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

M is for Minibaas. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are MOHUNBAGAN and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Koshchen (question) as in "Mamatadi! koshchens Cheap Ministaar in Writaars Buiding."

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second!

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer, that too a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk....Trams are still existing in Paris too.......you see !

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and ! scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1939.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur)?. It is also for Jubraj Shingh and Joga.

Z is for Jebra, Joo, and Jipper.

Champions League 2009

I am dead against late night Champions League matches. It not only makes my habit of staying awake late but routinely upset my stomach. The atmosphere in 2009 European League Football was electrifying.

I have never seen any spectators in the stadium who was less colorful than the other. Be it the red devils’ uniform glittered throughout the stadium or the Barcelona’s amazing dresses. It was great.

The closing ceremony witnessed a spectacle opera tune from the Gladiator and then the drama begins. It was always Christina Ronaldo competing with Lionel Messi. I guess before the start of the match everyone had already predicted the outcome of the match to be 3-0 or 2-1 from Man United, but I had a different view.

Intuition works in some times, and I felt that since Man United were clear favorites Barcelona would have very little pressure. It proved correct. I had predicted my friend Saty 2-1 for Barcelona, and it was 2-0.

Ronaldo missed quite a few chances right from the start, and it seem that Man U will score now and then. They played very supreme football. Owen, Ferdinand got busy and saw Park Suen in action. But it was Barca who scored first.

All through out the match it played the game they are known for pass-pass and pass. Of course, looks ugly in paper but it is this kind of game, which they are not afraid to hide.

The opposition practically knows their limitations, but sometimes you are caught unaware. Maybe Barcelona has this unique ability of scoring where it should be. They got a few chances but they made the most out of it. Eto and Messi demonstrated brilliance in their games.

Messi reminds me of so much of Maradona. Falling and dribling over, yet never losing the ball.

The point is that Man U are a good team, but nobody can deny that Barca are a better team even though you say that Man Utd are better. Surely did Barce get lucky against Chelsea but in the final against Man Utd we saw Barca play at their best and when they do that, it doesn't matter how well the other team plays, they are still going to lose. Everyone keeps saying that something was missing in Man Utd's game but the fact is that Barca never gave them a chance and that is what winners do.

It was a match that I will remember in the years to come, and as my friend said who knows in the next European League Finals, I may just be there to witness it.

Management lessons from the INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE

I am penning this piece 12 hours next to the 2009 Indian Premier League (IPL) Finals. A tournament like IPL displays brilliance in the departments of batting, bowling and fielding from high-ranged international and domestic players from around the globe.

It is an occasion for the Indian Cricket fraternity to exhibit their supremacy in the game. Money flows from different quarters and there is no short of fun be it a cheerleader bootlicious movements or any Bollywood actor act. After watching the tournament from the last 2 years, I chose to arrive with couple of management lessons that I could take from the tournament.

1)If you have a popular brand that has stakes in the market, then you are bowed to use it all quarters. India is a brand now. It’s supremacy is felt in most of the international places. The opportunities of it getting it recognizable with other brands is easy. Everyone wants to be associated with it.

2) If you have an idea, never keep it in your mind. It just gets wasted. Share the brilliant idea with people who can be the horses to drive-in. Of course, be prepared with your questions, which are going to be asked. You'll have to get the ideas floating and have solutions to back-up.

3) Be it Cricket or any other sports, engaging prime-time audiences is very important. So, also in a business catering to customer services, it is essential that the product meets the requirements of the end-users. Once you know who your users are and match your services to the requirements, your product can be an amazing success.

4) Always keep an optional plan backing you while executing your plan. Changes may arose at any point of time; you should be ready to execute the plan in toughest of the situations.

5) Marketing is essential for a product to succeed. What is in it for me- you don't just give them the product, but you give the oomph factor. Tieing up with celebrities is another way of making the product' presence in the market.

6) Always be loyal to your customers; owing to much success of the latest IPL in South Africa, the BCCI has decided to have a mini-IPL in the upcoming years. This is your way of backing up your customers. Remember, you are here in the business because of the customers.

7)Have a nice pool of individuals in the committee; experience talks in most of the situations.

I am sure folks can add-on to the list.

An Adventure in Hard Rock Cafe

Many of you who have written to me off-list suggesting me of spicing up my blog, I intend to bring cardamom from the market to do it. For those who think I am lucky, the answer is 'By lucky’, I need not explain what I meant but in every course of life you have some share of experiences, and I got my share with a pinch of love.

Anyway, coming back to this latest episode that happened in a Hard Rock Café in a very popular Indian City, I offer my humblest apologies to my so-called competitors in a bid to converse-whose-the-spiciest-girl amongst competition

The evening had been a wonderful one and it had everything right from music to amazing food and drinks. Women can be seldom ignored at these situations and every norm of superlative form can be attributed to them. In these situations, they are usually addressed as Sexy, but I chose to address them as Smoky!!!

Situations lead to interesting results, but I believe it’s good to have low-expectations set in order to get the desired results. If the café had nearly 300 people that night, out of which 200 were guys, then the girls as expected would be 100. But what makes numbers interesting are the numbers 100 viewed by 2*200 man’ eyes, so almost 400 eyes were viewing the 100 odd girls.

Now, consider these out of these 100 odd girls on a Saturday night, in a Hard rock café, I guess 90 of them would have arrived there with their guys (it’s a different story of whom they leave with)..so that leaves only 10 girls. Now these 10 girls will have either a combination of 5 groups of 2 each, or say 2 groups of 5 each. Am I making sense here?

Now, we have to leave 90 committed guys out from the 200 men..so that will make 110 men of which 10 will be likely to be homosexual. so now, 100 odd guys will be up for the competition for 10 girls. This number becomes more interesting when you check the homely appetite of 100 odd guys with Tequila, Whisky, Beer and so on.

After bracing all of these, I sensed 5 chicks in a table, extremely smoky and each with attitude. We were 5 guys if my memory serves me right; my memory had suffered a great deal after my ex-gf started eating my head he he…So, unlucky throughout the night and a reputation of being a dude, I was approached by couple of my friends to go ahead with this competition.

The round table conference that we had for 5 minutes witnessed various levels of high-pitched emotions. All around the table there were sparks flying of who would go first and approach the girls. Someone in the group mentioned of how smitten he was of the girls’ beauty and how his mom would fancy her as his eligible bahu. Some expressed their fanciful desires of candle night dinner with her.

It all started as a challenge of who can pick up one of the 5 chicks’ no. God himself was reluctant to initially of the plan. Bhaktjan squad decided to wait and watch. I quickly assessed the situation, understood our limitations and changed the plan a bit. As stated earlier being practical always helps.

After looking at those smoky hot chickens, we knew where we stood. We were neither models or hunks, but simple fellas whose fame can be compared to paunches of their stomach. I saw no chance of getting a vibe from the girl forget about the cell no. So, I changed the deal a bit. Now, I was given a cult status of a guruji here, so my words are taken as solemn.

I said guys let one of us go and speak to one of them, while the rest can watch the fun. Everyone nodded their heads approvingly. Bhagwan added on a bit of twist saying that he will be the second lead to this momentous expedition.

We were 20 steps away from the table of girls. In front of us lies the border strength of handsome hunks and would-be-actors. I knew it is a tedious task to go and approach them all. I picked up the nearest girl to the door. As I started, the God next to me also started walking.


I went ahead of him, and almost every time wondering if I will be able to deliver a perfect line. From far across the distant, I think she got scared as this divine creature walked upto her. It almost felt like the world froze for the instant. I went straight, stood near the table and waited for her to look. The chances of being procrastinated as a waiter seemed not bad, but wavered a bit for since the waiters had a uniform and thankfully! I wasn't wearing one.

She looked up and so far as I can remember I uttered certain lines. Trust me! it wasn't the best of the few lines that I ever spoke, but she somehow turned towards me and said thank you. God later told me that she showed a very disgustingly thanks. Chalo! maybe my trick didn't work. But to be honest, I think I conveyed the message to her. We left the place, but all throughout out the journey my friends kept on applauding the adventure.

I myself felt a bit I don't know comical, serious and out of touch. But hindsight, I knew it was a job well-done. Jab dil main hain kuch baat, then folks go ahead and express. Have confidence. We all can't be John Abraham, but if we can present our self with a good sense of humor the chances of getting a girl is more. Trust me..some years of experience this guy has doing the dishes.

Revisting Panache With Godfather

"Michael, your father loves you very much, very much".

I was watching Godfather for the umpteenth number of times, and each time there is something new to take from the movie. I grew up watching Al Pacino and Robert De Niro's movies, and dreamt of someday to deliver a power-packed performance like them in a stage. That of course, never happened...so far.

The beauty of Godfather is in the powerful script. If you start analyzing Godfather trilogy, you will see that none of the characters had lot of dialogues. Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone spoke more through his eyes and meant it. Maybe the director Francis Ford Coppola was forced to get Marlon's anger sparkled in the screen when he threatened the five families of utter consequences had anything happened to Michael Corleone, exiled for murdering Solloze and the chief cops.

Al Pacino, undoubtedly the greatest of all time actors, plays the son of Vito Corleone with a certain deal of panache. He too moves and scales up his life and family with a certain degree of calmness.

Robert De Niro, playing Vito Corleone in his prime shows the determination required to grow up in life. He is a family-oriented man, who loses his job, because the shop owner had to give his job to a local mafia's cousin. He is disheartened by all this, but he smilingly accepts the decision. His humility is astounding.

In life the road to success is filled with hardships. I understand it is not going to be an easy one, but if with all my humility I can walk ahead in my life, believing that I ain't hurting others in my actions, and helping others to succeed in their careers, it would be worth one. Everyone wishes for success and I believe the day it comes to me, I have all the humility to accept it.

The Parting

How should I put this episode? The calm before the storm, I guess.

The boxes have been packed. Each thing that requires attention had been sent across the border. Kumar household bears a disappointed look. 10 long years in this home have made them nostalgic. The chipping of the birds from the terrace, sounded more of a farewell tune to the household.

The family witnessed moments of happiness with the marriage of their two daughters, and the bereavement of the passing of their old grandmom and grandpapa.

"Let's go Anitha,time to leave". Just a sec, mommy. Anitha climbs up to the staircase and in between the racks, searches for a dabba. She takes out the dabba, and in that lies a photo. A photo of a person she loved and she cared. She knew that she won't forget that person anytime, and that person won't her also.

Tears rolled down from her cheeks. "I'll miss you, Deep!!! I'll miss you badly"...Down somewhere in Koramangala, a wreck felt her tears. He knows that he was going to miss and love her more with the progression of time. The radio broadcasted her favorite song.

Tips for Office Romances

Office romances have had been happening from ages. I myself found couple of instance where romances have their roots in the office boardroom or cafeteria. These romances are not all appreciated by the management, and here is what I advise folks who are in romance with their office mates:

1. If before Cupid made its mark on you, you were the type who believed in eating solo, not socializing too much with colleagues or leaving office solo, then stick to the same. Don’t ever change your regular routines. You are constantly watched and a little bit of negligence from your side may land you in trouble.

2. Do not use office stationery to send love notes, if it gets into the hands of your manager, you will surely get another note from him or her, which will not have anything to do with love! Do not send email from your official addresses, it can easily be tracked down and the next thing you both will see will probable be the door!

3. The best way to behave would be like complete strangers. Never ever walk in or leave office together. No offering lifts, unless accompanied by a third party.

4. Avoid dining or having lunches if not in a group. You can do this once or twice, but the moment you are seen having lunch together for more than once, you are for some questions and trouble.

5. Never spend much time discussing personal things with her or him at cubicle. If there is a project that makes both of you work together, try to sound as serious you can be.

Idly with a touch of Love

The people of Nagesh Apartment in JP Nagar need no reason for celebration. They celebrate for any activity or festivals that one can think of. If Mr. Ghosh has a kid, they celebrate. If Rani passed the board exams, they celebrate,

Quite a special achievement is it,hai na uttered Swaminathan finishing the last bites of Idli. Lakshmi his wife for the last 25 years, seem to remember the idli making him fall for her.

The next day, Swaminathan parents were there at her pedestal asking for Lakshmi’s hands. Lakshmi, now a proud mother of two daughters-Prathiba and Gayatri smiles at the very mention of the past.

There is something more to the Idly story. (Idly is a savory cake. The cakes are made of urad dal (lentils) and rice, which is steam cooked).Lakshmi has over the years been asked by her kids to share the part of her story, but she had a blush. In her 25 years of celebration,Lakshmi had dutifully been a part of Swami’s lives
offering him solace and support in everything.

Today as they stood hands in hand there is hope and expression of faith in both of their lives. Ideally, at this point of time. nothing would have mattered to this family except this awkward situation. For some reasons, known to a few Laksmi's Idlies were not tastier of yesteryear's.

They seem to taste something different. Swami had been reluctant to say this to Lakshmi. He loved her immensely. It has been with them for ages. But now
the love for Idly has taken it over.

In office, lazing with his friends, Idly was a concern for him. If he dare to speak of the situation it might earn him a divorce or apathy from their daughters or wife. Some might even question his love his idly more than his wife. Should he or not express this? Should he just ignore the matter? He was in a dilemma.

The stage was all set. Lakshmi woke up in the morning and ritual wise she prepared Idly for the family. She quietly went to her husband's room and kept those Idlies
in the table.

Swami woke up, took up a bath, wore his mundu and then very rulanctly took the Idly plates. HMMMM!!! the taste of Idly was something different.

But how would you express this to Lakshmi. He somehow manage to get her alone, but didn't how to say it. For some reasons, he was feeling ashamed. How can be he
so selfish? Swami still saw Lakshmi's face smiling-something that's been intact for the last 25 years. Swami could not believe his luck.

The Song that Made me Cry

A song which bring tears to my eyes. A touch of emotional lapse maybe but we all need to look after our parents. We are here because of them :)

In Love with Biology

Professor Subramaniam hold a special place for the boys of First Semester of Computer Science of Junior Baptiste College. At any day his visionary and skills of human behavior were astounding. He was a gold medalist right from the word 'go'.

He was a Biology professor, someone who knew and understand what emotions of the plants were. He is what the great JC Bose was to India. But then what were the Computer Science students doing with a Professor of Biology?

It had a long story, but to cut it short Professor Subramaniam apart from boasting as the best teacher in the whole arena had a beautiful Mallu daughter called Payal.

No words could ever describe Payal. She is what any youngster girl in his first year of Engineering can be- hot, hot and hot. But, Payal didn't just boast of having a supreme figure of 36-28-28. She was the reigning diva of essence. Something spritual about here. Something classy. You know when you see her in typical Mumbai accent, you shudder to say "bole to Veeru, Shaadi karne laike baap".

But,Payal wasn't approachable. Like any first semester student of Engineering colleges, boys are never short of scanning very quickly of a girl. Typically, we find out if she was single or not. If she wasn't, maybe hire some goondas to beat that guy. Na, just kidding.

So, after a lot of research where we took pains of bunking college classes, nights
and days, shoots and offshoots in the bars, tricks and misleads, confusions and deamonors, things worked out finally.

Out came Gopi with an idea. Gopi is a friend of ours who works now for a major MNC at Bangalore delivering homemakers in US tips and tricks on troubleshooting issues of computer.Computer Science grads now expects to take Biology classes. Cause--Professor Subramanian's daughter, Payal. "Macha, let's take Biology tutions da". Tutions was it then.

At an early chilly morning, we assembled in Jayanagar 4th block,very near to the COOL JOINT. Everyone of us dreamt of taking Payal to the Cool Joint and taste the sandwiches over there.

I dreamt of something else. Na, Dosa Point would be better. Anyway, we got into the tution classes candid of the fact that Payal would be coming out in anytime, and we will then go out and propose her. How stupid of us!

Professor Subramaniam was an eccentric person. He never understood what the class was upto. He used to give us a big lecture and we used to take notes. But how long was this going to happen. And then fine day I could not take it more.

So, I walked in to Professor's house and asked for a glass of water. With hope in my heart and desire in my lips, I saw a vision not more than 5'5 inch tall walking. There she is Payal, with a glass made of Hallmark comes across to me.

Quietly she comes up and when she passed the glass, looked to me and whispered, "well- played Mr. Raj..I never knew Computer Grads like Biology." There was a gigling soon after which was too embrassing for me.

I walked out of the class and never set foot again in Professor' house. When we saw each other the next time, she elbowed her friends to me. And they laughed. God, Biology was never fun thereafter!

To Question Her Virginity

“Tell me Ashish,that I slept with another man the cause for the drift between us?” Joanna has been honest. Her eyes are motionless now. She is trying to notice the tension in Ashish’s face. He seems pale to hear about the news.

Unexpected tension added to his squatness cannot hide his grief. Is it the anger that is causing him to behave the way he is doing or is it the love that grew for her internally? Ashish feels like throwing up. He wants to leave.

The early morning flight from US had a late arrival to the Bengaluru International Airport. Ashish had been to US for nearly a year now. He is engaged to Joanna for sometime now. He met Joanna in a college fest of Jyothi Nivas College, and immediately sparks flied.

Joanna, a cheruby Malaylee from the district of Kottayam had been the center of attention for most of the teenyboppers, who keep on swerving their bikes near JNC. She is a beautiful damsel with wonderful long hairs, nice complexions and a poky nose to go by. That! she had extremely red lips were an icing on the cake. But, we will discuss them sometime in the future.

At first Joanna had no feelings for Ashish, but then his writings and poetry moved her. She seems to fall for him unknowingly. Though she addressed this issue to him earlier citing if no-commitment she started to fall for him. Times flied and things moved.

Ashish and Joanna had been a couple for sometime. Joanna is an excellent cook and ashish never minds her doing the household chores. But there was an area where both had varied opinions. Ashish complained that Joanna lacked the urge for sex and hence she never went to bed with him.

While Joanna denied it. She felt that losing virginity is not that of a big issue but losing it to a someone and an occasion is completely her choice. She needs to decide when and how and that is nothing to do with love.

"Yes, I have slept with Sid. Moreover, it has nothing to do with him being my manager.I am still contemplating if its your choice why it needs to be your choice and why you should question me on this. Have I ever asked you Ashish how many girls have slept around with in US? That! You had an Orkut profile and had in past two relationships isn’t much of a botheration, but to you it is? I don’t think I need to answer you but for your sake of benefit, Sid understands me."

"When you were not there and I was trying to reach you, Sid helped me. He comforted me when I took to alcohol. You were not there and you have been too busy." Ashish looked infuriated and tried to reason. "But, you know I had been busy. It wasn’t possible for me to be there. But, anyway it doesn’t mean that my love for has become lesser now, and you should go and sleep around with someone."

“Ah! So you mean to say by putting an engagement ring on my fingers, you can continually sleep with other girls. That I am a bonded labor of yours and every decision of mine has to be approve by you. Why? I kept preserved myself for you Ashish. Yes, I am an Indian girl, and its pity that the society bars women from speaking on topics that mars a difference."

Joanna continued: "Women are supposed to be a subjects of exploit for man right. You know what! If I had slept with you earlier, would your views for me changed? I am sure any girl who sleeps prior to her marriage is bad for you, isn’t? but, you want sex. You want commitment. You want a wife who waits for her husband to come from office, make his food and then warm him up in the bed, isn’t? I feel pity for you cause you are insecure and have no trust on me. Are you hurt that someone else enjoyed this flesh prior to you? What! Speak up you animal.”

Ashish contemplates for a moment. He wanted to speak but he was speechless. Everything Joanna said was true. It was true that he has been seeing someone keeping Joanna unaware. He had the wish to sleep with a blond and he did it in US. But, why is he then angry? Ashish shudders for a moment, but he cannot stop for a moment to say “B****”.

"Yes, I am now for you." A tear rolls down from Joanna’s eyes, but she swiped it away from the cheek immediately. She laughed at Ashish and threw the ring at his face. As she recedes, she looked back at Ashish and uttered “This bitch did the first right thing today..loser”…she walks away. The clouds were hovering around the sky. It was going to rain. Ashish screamed "Taxi, Taxi". It had started raining. The rain water seemed to take the ring near to the drains.

A Potato falls for a Tomato

It has been quite an unusual day in the market. This market that I am referring here is an quite upheaval market of Madiwala. Located near to a shopping mall TOTAL the market bear quite a history of Bangalore heritage.

In comes a truck sackful of vegetables. Kantamma, tucked her saree nicely, and went ahead to mount the sackful of vegetables. Along with the cauliflowers, ladyfingers, carrots, brinjals, there were tomatoes and potatoes. Kantamma lays the sackful of vegetables and goes ahead to pay the vendor.

"Hey! long time, how are your brothers doing?" asks the potato. A bit of flirty attitude. The tomato has known for ages this behavior of potato. She tries hard in refraining from making any eye contact with him. At this point, by her ill luck there is a disgruntled rush of brinjals over them. The potato falls over the cute face of tomato, and pinches her cheek.

"Ridiculous! she utters. Don't you have manners?" The potato busted into a laughter as the face of the tomato flashed in red. The potato still kept on pinging her. "Hey! we can roll her for a while before we are made into an aloo ke chutney."

This was getting improbable for the tomato had not it been Miss Joanna's touch. She looked at the tomato pretty well and asked Kantamma to put that in bag. The potato looked pale.
The tomato seems to have the last laugh with the MTV Spiltsvilla 2 Queen, Joanna. Boy! talk about falling in arms.

I Used to Love Her :)

Does she even remember me? This song might remind all the folks what people experience when their loved ones are no more with them. Love you folks!
Peace and Love from the comedian- Raj

Time to Cast Votes Online

No, for the hundredth time, I won't be able to cast my vote for the upcoming Assembly elections. How can I? I am put up in Bangalore and have to travel across to Bengal to cast my votes. I don't think its feasible. But, I would love to cast my vote. Specifically, because every vote is important.


We chose the leaders and it is a wonderful thought. So what if my votes hardly count? So what if I see every scum politician making crores and storing it in Swiss bank. I have the democratic right to exercise my powers, and if these politicians fail to do their duties, God alone can be the judge.

I want an online poll format. For us, who are far off to a distant land earning our livelihood, an online poll helps us. A site monitored and managed by the Election Commission of India can organize and conduct the polls online. Every online users gets a username and password for the 'Ballot'. Username can be the voters ID. Trust me, it will enable hundreds of NRIs and Indian citizens who cannot make it to the polls for distance.

Disadvantages may be few such as technological mishap and co-ordination. But, no system is proper without any trials. Let's give it a green signal. Anyway are you listening? Yes, that 5-year old kid what do you think about this idea?

What the hell is the IT City Upto!!!

8 long years. Yes! 8 long years in the Garden city of India. I don't feel any more alien in Bangalore. The language Kannada isn't much of a botheration to me. I can understand it with no issues, and can give a bit or two to the authorickshawallas in their languages. The food has never been an issue. And, friends! I have more South Indian friends than Bengalis. Well BEN- GAALI isn't a gali dude!

But I am have been touch disappointed from the last few months on the Bangalore Municipal Administration. Na, I am not disappointed with the real estate or why I am looked as a stranger in the city, but on the Brand name 'IT City'. The Information Technology city of India looms in dark pale of shadow. I stay in a posh residential locality of Koramangala, and believe it or not get just 18 hours of electricity every day.

Early morning and there is no power. The fans are not moving and its sweaty time. And, then sit for a lunch or dinner with candles. How disturbing it feels. In disgust, I leave the house. Oh! some chill though. But right next to my house is a billboard with Deepika Paudoke giving a gleeful smile. I wonder if she understand the pathos I go through. There is pollution everywhere. IT City, my foot

Advantage Man!

It has not been the best of Summers for me. I fell in love again only to realize that standing up is better. Deep shit called Commitment and boy!she did not even look back at me again. Times changed and I possibly think I can never commit. Why would I? I am a Man. I am here to take advantage. Isn't? Let me ponder as to what are the advantages that man have.

As Man,we are hardly questioned for our actions.We can come at any point of the night, enact any actions and still get along. Nobody can question us. It becomes more easy for us to justify our actions and cross-question the person of the opposite gender.

As Man, we still are accepted in the society as soul signatory. How many times have we seen a man signing the report card or any authorized document? Have you seen a women doing that? See, how important we man are?

I Just Don't Understand Girls!!!!

Believe it or not- it's better to keep moving in life. You move in everything be at any aspect of life that I speak of. Work, relationship or any other shit that I can remember of. It's 12 of the night, and am penning this sitting in a friend's room, while a couple of friends are busy drinking in the other room. I had just finished watching a romantic comedy SEX DRIVE, much in the lines of AMERICAN PIE & ROADTRIP.

In between these, a message flashed on the Gtalk client. An ex-girlfriend, who suddenly developed a huge likeness for me is missing me, and when I asked her the reason for her likeness, she said she doesn't know. Of course, she does not. How could she? I was a puppet to her when she played around with me, and never thought of even asking me what the hell was I doing all throughout the life.

Now, she turns up suddenly. I cannot understand women. At some point they are so much into you and then they suddenly leave you. It's ,like their job with you is done. They complained guys do not understand. Ya hell! we don't. How can I understand when you play so many games sweetheart?

Post-Lunch with Raj

You are down and out after a heavy lunch. The fingers and the hands have decided to call it off, and you are wondering if you can do something for interesting. It is difficult. Post-lunch phase is the most difficult phase to work on. It is not something that is instantaneous or comes naturally. You just feel sleepy. I don't know why and what happens to me. But I need atleast an hour to get the feeling sink down. I chose to feel a certain numbness all over my body. I am dozy. I feel a certain envelope of some power in SLEEP overcoming me. I take the pillow kept inside my locker. I go straight to the nearby dorm. I sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Autobiography of A Shoe

In the event of a joyous union of Christmas, I was manufactured by my creator. So far as my memory goes, I opened my eyes along with a couple of my brothers in a tiny outlet in Vijayawada. I think it is in Andra Pradesh. Soon, after my birth, I was placed in a beautiful Metro shoe outlet in Hyderabad.

I soon discovered that the creator was also the owner of the shop. His name is Ramalinga R. He kept me in a nice glass outlet. I was being looked after everyday. At times, I woke up quite early with a tiny pat of brush. I was appreciated for my color, design and quality. Its nice to be complimented when you know you are full of charisma and power.

It is this power that made Ramalinga R ship me to the Garden city of India, Bangalore. I later learnt that Bangalore is the most polluted and congested city.

Anyway, after much travel I reached Bangalore and soon found myself in a large showroom of a mall. I later learnt from my brothers, my new residence was Forum, a large mall in Koramangala. Over the next few days, I got glances from onlookers. Some tried me out, some did fashion parade.

Then one fine day, a curious looking guy..actually eccentric one came over to the showroom. I said curious because he looked twice more eager to know about the shoe size than the shoes. Anyway, he had a glance across me and took me up. The way he examined my body isn't that of a master, but that of a baby.

Years later, I came to know that his secret of winning girls' hearts. He seem to be confused of taking a pick between me and my brother. But! as luck would have it, I soon found myself in a bag packed with this nice young lad. I found myself a nice chamber of shoes. Days later, he took me along with him to a large palace.

I later found it was where he worked. Infosys. All these years, I have been a part of his happiness and sadness. I can't forget the way he jumped in joy after he won an award in quiz and in stc, his moments of desperation when he broke up with his girlfriend, the long dwindling nights where he went to pub from a office, times he leapt up in joy after a date.

I still remember the times he used to get offended and threw me wherever he liked, but then of course in the early morning hours, used to come and brush me again.But today, I stay in the house and he goes to office with a new person. I don't know but I think its from my arch rival Le Cooper. I hate him!

Coffee Day or Ramu Kaka's Tea Stall

I have visited Jayanagar 4th Block Coffee Day three times during my stint of 8 years in Bangalore. This phase has been routine mainly by the constant endeavor of my friends to shell out some bucks out of my pocket.

Please note that I have never enjoyed visits to Coffee Days leave Jayanagar Coffee Day out. Of course, it was a different case altogether when Infosys Coffee Days is spoken about. But than, I used to get a capuchino for Rs.16, and that is nonetheless trifle compared to how much I shelled out.

This coffee day is situated at a very prime place for religious people. There is a temple bang opposite to the coffee day, so in case you don't get a seat in the coffee day, you end up in a temple. If you have a girlfriend, she might ask you to go to 'Sweet Chariot' down the lane, don't go there! The shop owner's daughter is rude.

At the first visit to the coffee day, get ready for a beam of onlookers. A surprise direction of swarm of bees from all the various quarters may struck you if you aren't that cautious. Next, are thee 4 steps of the staircase,which reminds me that of my athleticism. I climb the stairs in quick succession and looked here and there.

A couple of facts that I wish to put across about the coffee day whether it is in MG Road, Lavelle Road or Ganga Nagar are not empty, and I don't see it will be empty don't blame only recession, it is because of their own fault, the management became over confidence with initial success and they neglected the basic things like food quality and service.

Yesterday, my friend got stale sour samosas and when I asked the waiter he had no answer, he just denies that they are stale, but I have never in my life had such sour samosa as if the masala was spiked with nimbu. The coffee was served almost cold and the waiter was always absconding although there was hardly any crowd, more than 80% of the seats were not occupied.

CCD does not offer any value anymore, even the good smiling staff have also disappeared from all their outlets and the grumpy ones are left. It is a different atmosphere, the juke boxes are not played anymore, still yesterday the whole lot of cakes meant for Christmas and new year were unsold. It is a clear sign that Bangaloreans are rejecting CCD.

As for the statement- a lot can happen over a cup of coffee, there is a Ramu Kaka's tea stall in Koramangala 8th Block. Buy a cup of tea there, sit on those rocks, and you can keep chatting for hours. Understand yaar! It's recession time.

A Postcard to a Girl

Royal Arthur Prison
1 Kingdom, London,
3rd March, 1982


Dear Miss June

I hope this letter finds you in the sweet arms of a beloved mother, nurturing you to the pinkest of health. I pray that you arise from the beautiful slumber of laziness and set your steps to the beautiful locales of New Hampshire. Beautiful sometime has more of a magic than the choicest of a magic potion used to treat queen’s illness.

Her majesty has been kind enough to spare a couple of us during the Xmas vacation. I sincerely thank the queen for her timely intervention else it would have been a case of another long year fighting for the cause of freedom and only to live to a sorid tell.

Patrick, my cell mate has fallen like a hog this spring. His story is untold. I have been told that he breathed English weather even when he chose to die. The selection of death has had come at times to us only to deluge us sadness. We are timid souls, because we are bonded by some powers, relationships and we chose to live. I stand June in your love. Perhaps to tell you a story.

It has been raining cats and dogs for the past weeks.It’s just like the crying of a new born baby, unstopped and becomes louder and louder with the passage of time. The rains coming from the Artic had been a blessing in disguise for the Hampshire peasants. It is a time of harvesting, and much like the sprinkles of afternoon grace, the rain never ceased.

All along the path leading to the churches, you can see little steps of kids, preferably learning to walk with their parents. Roger, a friend of mine, whom I acquainted in prison keeps in touch with the external world largely owing to his wife, Cathy. Cathy practice missionary charity at St.Andrew’s school, and it is through here mission that we get acquainted with the religious texts of the world.

I have destined myself to a 14 bar 18 inch room. The fan looks like more of a rustic wing than anyone can speak about. A table and a chair has been placed in this attic. I am reading, continuously reading for the past few days.

What am I reading? Oh, I read Shakespeare and Wordsworth. Ah! You were so true. Each time I read them, I get sunk in more and more of their world. Each of the Shakespeare’s characters, Shylock of Merchant of Venice or Macbeth has left me confused also. Interestingly, the relevance of Shakespeare is matched to the core in today’s world. I am left stunned as to how he could portray this when he live a 200 hundred years back.

Poetry has a name June, and yes you are my poetry. I still remember when you gave me that little piece of sonnet of Julie Andrews. I never read it of course, but to make it more romantic stole a few lines on Valentines Day. I am sure this can originally be called a Romeo’s tryst for words. But those sweetest moments in which you chose to get all wild lives for that moment. So I am hopeful that the next time we may have some poetry juggling to do. A few lines can resonate so beautiful. I enjoy the timing of the words, the crispiness, the beautiful sounds each words make is something to cherish about. I have enjoyed the early stint of the fervor and

Timing is correct, and I dearly miss you. The mismatch of the anticipation has resulted a few olives and onions to be relished with aplomb. I had quite a few of them in the following months, leading to a terrible stomach ache. The sun has been drifting slowly at the horizon, and with it the dreams and aspirations of my life.

Solitude is most of the times depressing, and it is no exception that I am rather lonely. But the only hope, that on this valentine eve, I get a chance to meet you makes me feel better. In other words, I chose to live for that day.

Time is running. I must stop here. The lights in the cell have glowed. We have an early dinner here. I don't get my favorite 'chicken sandwich' here, but that should be fine. The porridge tastes bad and is served cold. I have to rush. Hope you still wear that neckline I

When the Kids Smile

You do different things when your loved ones are out of station. One of the things that I regularly practice and end up getting bashed from my friends is the fact that I go in for 'surprise dates and parties'.

You must be wondering how come I end up getting dates if I term them 'surprising'. The reason is I plan it up in such a fashion that the ones going out with me assumes its a surprising but to me is a planned one. Yes, I know I am a cheap guy. But hey, don't we Indians boast being the nation of cheaps? :)

This fine Sunday, when the Scorching sun beamed on my back, I lazily took a glance at my wrist watch. It showed 13:00 hours. My so called friend from Mount Carmel had again decided to be late. I don't blame people. People staying at far off places like Jayanagar, JP Nagar & Banashankari are very unpunctual. :) I know I am for some BIG trouble now.

At that point of time, I saw a couple of kids, aged between 5-8 years playing Cricket. I am not boasting, but I just get a turned on by a girl's songs and Cricket. So here,I decided to play a game of Cricket with these kids. I am a good batsman and an awesome bowler, and a lazy fielder (that can be understood since I stay most of the time in the dormitory of my office).

My roomie, immediately went to the room, took the camera and clicked some pics. I left afterwards only to realise that I had a back pain. Yes, I am getting old, and should stop celebrating birthdays, but that's me :)

Since then, these kids have been pestering me for the snaps. And so, I decided to get them the snaps today. When I gave them snaps, I can't express their happiness. They leapt in the sky and kept on saying "Uncle, thank you, uncle Thank you". I saw a gleam of smile in an old person sitting besides. He said that Son, you made them happy.

As I receded back to my abode, I saw them still jumping with joy. I understood children are innocent and certain acts in life can bring so much of happiness. You really don't need to do something great; just small acts and life would be so wonderful.

I heard someone pressed the door bell. "Uncle, could you get the shuttle cock from that roof?" Well, I am in for some trouble, now. Explain it to them :)

Sex and Economy

Two visible things have remain etched in my 'mediocre' brain from my hey days. Both of them has to do with my teenage years. I am referring to Sex and Economy. The 'Sex' and 'Economy'-distinct and yet much true are the two things, which according to me balances and stands as a major pedestal for any youngster in his or her growing years; I wasn't immobile to the same.

I was of the fact and had a general consensus that both of these things were 'gifted',and only the'lucky' ones were entitled to the same. It is where I take and draw a picture of a small town, where I grew up and feel has its own advantages, and though it seems immodest for me to deny it outright now, the fact is at that period the town sucked for I missed both Sex and Economy.

Board exams meant you have to put in all your efforts towards studies. It also meant no Television(Chitrahaar or Rangoli on DD National Network) or any sort of entertainment that you could possibly think of, forget Internet in 90's. I am not against all these,but when it comes to - glorifying your parents prestige by doing well in the examinations, I get all psyched up.

Unfortunately, I have never been able to gauze how is that answering a 100 marks question makes Jack,healthy, wealthy and wise? Anyway, to cut is short- you can make out the Sex factor was NULL, and Money- well if you have read it till here, continue reading.

I think I owe a lot to my parents for they inculcated in me a certain discipline in terms of using money. You see, unlike most of today's youth, I used to never receive a something called 'pocket money'. I used to earn my monthly expenses either by writing a short piece for a college article or contesting in a Quiz show. My eldest brother, whom I consider to be a role model, and that has not changed yet today, took care of my finances at any day. But that, didn't mean I had money to buy something for my girlfriend.

Honestly speaking, when I look back, I don't see that I had a remote chance with any girl. I was not tall (am still the same), lean (imagining 6 or 8 packs), nor handsome and was mediocre in studies. So the chances of matching any of the criteria for a girl to fall for me wasn’t there. But I was definitely talkative. I could speak on anything be it music, sports, religion etc. I just needed a topic to speak on.

The Catholic institution provided me the required impetus to show case my latent talent. I don’t know as to how many of you’ld be aware of something called ‘Bible reading’, but I did that. It is a sort of reading of a certain section of Bible in front of an August gathering at a chruch, and am happy that this was noticed by all.

You must be all wondering how do I even manage to get a chance of have a girl friend lest talk about sex. You are not mistaken completely; I believe at some juncture I had overshadowed to have the 'cool' tag, for I knew it's insane to think about it. And then it just happened.

Right thing always happen at the right moment. Some love guru said once physical desires are very hard to control, and it is understandable that youngsters commit things unknowingly or knowingly. I believe it is a sense of Freedom. We all love freedom at that period, at that age, and when you grow up and suddenly see that 'Mom,I am going out, and will come late" or arriving at 9 in the night are not treated with same nerve or tension as earlier, youngsters feel that they are grown up. You enjoy that freedom.

I have still my parent's favorite, and of course enjoy my mother's love, but there is another love that we identify is that of a girl. When I went out with my first girlfriend, all I remember is that she smelt wonderful; in college parlance,it is just the extra pudding for tiffin. The first Kiss that we shared scaled heights more than Sachin Tendulkar's first century. However, we couldn't get further as her dad, a cop chased with me a lathi.

Years have rolled by and I have grown up (physically only!!!). But I sense that when you realise that how many years you have been running for Sex and Economy, you need to ask yourself, "are both of them interrelated?" and "did I over run myself in the run for same?" The mobile phone starts ringing. Guess, I have couple of miles to run before I sleep.

The Last Kiss

For a moment nothing moved except for the few leaves that were falling down from the old Banyan tree. The hustle & bustle of everyday activities' seem to prey silent to the mohican adventure of this place. The place located in the confines of Rupert street is often an anonymous adventure, a loafer's den, and some gossip stories's inception. But this day, it is different.

The place, known as Baltizmer's graveyard welcomes another daughter to its abode. Mrs. Smith is no more. She has left for her abode leaving her daughter and son.

As the coffin donned Mrs. Smith with flowers of varied colors, a beautiful Anita Smith in a spotless white gown, eyes closed, nose tilted towards the yonder sky and lips closed, laid. The nose portrayed severe emotion tilted towards the Heaven. It has to be heaven, everyone said.

Anitha was such a sweet child," "oh! she was an angel in her days, said her friends. While everyone spoke and ushered their condolences, Diana kept silence. It is a silence that pervaded her for a long time. A reason that most of the mourners linked up to her mother's sudden death. But it isn't

Mom, I want to get married to this guy. I love him". He is not suitable for you. These words kept on repeatedly on Diana's mind as she had her first child aborted. Philip, her husband could not bear the fact that she had given birth to a girl. He had openly laid two options in front of her- either get the child aborted or leave him.

She loves Philip, She always did and she could not bear to lose him. In times of motherhood, its believed a girl suddenly gets an extra energy to give a new birth, the creation of a baby born itself makes her feel infallibly good. Perhaps, that's why they said "a girl has turned into a woman."

Anitha could not take the news of aborted child shock. She cannot face the news that her daughter has killed someone since she liked her husband. Anitha suffered a stroke, and perhaps in her last moments, she wished her daughter and son could be there. Perhaps her efforts to raise the kids had gone last. She had raised the kids when their father had passed away of a dreaded sickness. Anitha worked endlessly in her role as a teacher.

The priest asked Diana to say her prayers and have a last conversation with her mother. Diana knelled towards towards the coffin. Her hands were covered in black gloves. The same hands that once Anitha caught Diana falling from walking, were today cold and unmoved. Diana looked into her mother's eyes. Anitha is beautiful.

Even in the last few hours of death has not been able to disrupt the beauty of her mother. She smelt so good. Diana remembers how she used to take her mom through out a ride, and she said stop, stop!! How she wish Time stops.

Even at death, people learn a few lessons. Lessons that teaches you how important death can be at times. It instructs you that life is the beautiful creation of God, and only he is entitled to take it at his own right. Diana had no right to abort a child who did not even see the light of this world. And, her she is weeping for her mother, whom she longs to be alive. Such is the adversity of this world.

As she locks the last kiss with her mother, she suddenly feels that her mom said something to her ears. "Diana, I forgave you; I'll be born again as your daughter". Please don't kill me again". Diana shudders this time. Could it be her mom. But her mother lies in the grave. Who could it be? It had started raining.

Striking a Conversation at a Party

Times have changed. People have changed their approach. Their lifestyles and norms of living. But a thing that did not change-FLIRT. People still flirt, and for obvious reasons. You can call it by name as you wish to. Socialising is the new name for it, I heard Neha telling me the other day. Suzzane said that guys have lost ways of reciprocating and approaching women. Really!! I beg to differ on this.

Flirting- ok first of all, leave that nagging thing behind. It is not a taboo and people are open to it. But, flirting is not cheap advances. Here, you are going to address someone with a bit of style and of course with their attitude intact.

Don't be someone else. Rule no.1- Be natural, be yourself. Even the greatest love guru's would say this to you. Girls have this amazing nose. They can easily track down the vileness in your character. It is essential hence to be at ease, when you confront the opposite sex for the first time.

Rule no 2- Get the signals. Yo don't need to be a traffic constable for that. At a party, if you tend to like a girl, give her a glance. Look into her eyes, and not somewhere else. If she likes you or has an interest towards you, there will be a flash of a smile crooning somewhere between the lips. Catch it!

Once you caught the smile, it is turn to approach. Be well-groomed and strike a good opening line. Try to check if her glass is empty. If yes, maybe its time you can buy or get her a drink. See the glass is clean. Girls are born hygienic. God knows, why!

Don't rush towards her with that glass. She is a lady and she is to be treated with respect. Walk softly, all the time looking into this eyes, and a smile beaming (not that full). Go near her, take a deep breath and say "oh! I just figured out that the job of a waiter"...she says "what!" and than you cash in with "to never keep beautiful girl's glasses empty".. You may laugh at me now, but it works.


Next confidence. If she finds that you interesting, she will ask you to seat besides her. Now, don't just sit immediately. Thank her first, and ask her what is a beautiful girl like her doing at this moment?

Converse more. Ask about her and see if she reciprocates. If she doesn't, quietly leave. If she does, she will ask about you too. Your job is more easier if you have a good sense of humor. Trust me! having a good humor breaks the ice faster than anything else.

If you are a good dancer, than maybe you can ask her for a dance, but if you are like me, than talk about her interests. From that interests, try to see if you can be good in it.

Once the talk gets over and she checks watch, ask her if you she is waiting for someone and you should leave. The main factor is being polite. Girls love if a guy is polite and shows immense respect to them. If she has another person coming in, she will definitely let you know.

Once you guys have struck a rapport, take the lead-in. Ask her cell no. These days, people ask "do you have an Orkut ID?" Adventurous girl might give you the number straightway. Some girls might like to check you a bit-maybe not their number, but their email ID.

It's polite to ask her if you can drop her home. I don't think, we in India the success ratio is that higher, but nevertheless, you can ask. Don't forget her to text her when you go back home. Tell her you had a wonderful time. If the text comes within 5 minutes, she is on.

Watch out for the next article-"What should you do on Date"...till than happy dating!

Saffronizing Satyam

I am not a political activist nor a media tycoon nor a police commissioner or a judge. I am Raj, a middle-class citizen who just celebrated his birthday, with his meager salary. I am writing this piece because I feel I have a duty to express my thoughts as a citizen of my beloved country India. In no way, it relates any political parties views or anyone as such.

Where do I work? I am with an Information Technology company based in India. Nope, am not with Satyam. It should not stop you from asking me questions about my work and the various clients interact with. Satyam case in which Ramalingham Raju has disclosed that he cheated the board and employees.

I am going to share the expected treatment of the clients and the so called saffronizing us for the debacle of Satyam.


Firstly, clients are angry. They should be. If they find that the people with whom they are in business have their credentials in deep suspicion, they will be worried. It is their worriness that will result in anger. The client's anger may eventually cancelled the work order or pervade it from dealing with the company in future. This leads to time and a lot of money wastage. And, mostly the reputation of the client is at stake.

I read in some forum of a comment posted by a CEO of an mnc that Indian IT companies would be looked with suspicion after the Satyam lie. My response to that is very simple- let's not be biased. Did we forget the Enron and Worldcom fiasco? these were the companies based out of India and looking to do businesses with India.So, you see the history of companies that have a major catastrophe are not limited to Satyam alone. And some of them have not even declared their blames for it.

The West has always propagated the Asian nations are under developed, and whether they like to see it or not, development of these nations are scrutinized. In the mid 90's and post-Y2k, the IT sector saw a dramatic trend with more and more jobs outsourced to India. Obviously, the lesser cost and the quality workforce is an eye catcher for businesses in India. India flourished in leaps and bounds and the country is talking about businesses from the world market.

Mr. Raju has been one of the influential CEO's of India, and during his stint he has made quite a few high-ranking business friends and associates. He may find them to be a major catalyst in his triumph for survival. The so-called political parties may try to take a political mileage of it.

The IT companies need to understand that the crisis is not engulfed alone to Satyam alone. The need of the hour is to rise above all the petty differences and earn the trust of the customers again.

By the time this piece gets published, a new Satyam board comprising of three eminent persons have been formed. This is a fantastic development. I hope the board will first find out the root cause of this great fiasco, and see that in no way, the employees of Satyam are caused any evil. The customers need to be addressed and appraised of the situation.

Let's see how it evolves. But this blot needs to be taken care of right away. And, it's not just India that have been affected. The NASSCOM needs to take a stand, and yes dully get back to its righteous away.

And huh! for those of you who are wondering why did Mr.Raju surrender. I may be incorrect, but my take on is the US clients have already filed a complaint against Raju. We all know he will be under deep stakes if he has to face the trial in US. Atleast, Indian law would allow me to face the trial. So, you see.

I hope all goes well. May the truth prevail and yes one thing for sure, this incident will definitely make accounting department more agile. Chances are we just may have a blessing in disguise. Amen!

Reviewing SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

I am speechless, stunned and obviously mystified by David Boyle's narration of a movie based on the plot of the television game show Kaun Banega Crorepati or Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. Yes, one thing more- it has no Mr.Bachchan.

Very few films have left me stunned with their script, drama, romance, cinematography, background music, art direction and everything.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE to date it captures a slum boys' dreams and sets it to a pedestal of a coveted crown.

It surely is a movie that has shades of Mira Nair's SALAM BOMBAY, but this movie is set in 2008 and dealt so differently and brilliantly.

As a kid, I used to whistle in the streets across often collecting marbles, and play with my friends in rain. Some things change with the times, but the memories lingers somewhere, and the visuals depicted in Slumdog captured my childhood so well.

At no point of time, I was apprehensive that the characters Jamal and Salim would not make it big, but that's the beauty of the movie's screenplay.

Jamal rises to the hot seat of KBC front, and each answer in the KBC tells a story of his life. His age of innocence as a kid when he stays in a slum and overleaps in joy at the very mention of Amitabh Bachchan. His childhood love, Lalita stays afresh in his mind and inspite of the various odds and journeys, the love still lingers.

A touch of Bollywood masala, which Boyle dutifully doesn't miss for he knows that the Asian audience needs that cream.


Salim, Latika & Jamal are the three principal characters in the movie, and you are engulfed in these characters that the poverty and smugness of Mumbai lets you never down.

At no point in the movie, did I felt that the director was trying to humanise the slums of Mumbai. I felt Boyle narrated the story with a pinch of humor everywhere. That's why a character like Mahesh Manjrekar existed.

To me there are plenty of scenes that stands out,and the movie itself conveyed a messaged to me. It says at no point of your life, feel that your life is planned. Life is unpredictable to the core, but if you are confident and believe that you can chase your dreams by being honest and upright, no one can stop you. Pessimism never won a battle.

SLUMDOG is not a movie to be missed. Go and watch it with your loved ones. It will change a thing or two. Hats off!

Golmaal in 2009 New Year's Party

"Disaster, disaster" yelled both of us. 2009 New Year night party at Bangalore has left me dejected. I am unhappy because this isn't the first time, and am sure it won't be the last.

I won't take the names of people who has made it bad since they are my friends. But if they go through this piece someday, folks: I am really angry with you both, especially on my ex-roomie.

I don't remember the exact situations that led to a brawl. But let me tell you when you are with opposite genders, it is better to be calm and composed in trying situations.

We also saw how cops who find it amusing to get bribed during the normal working hours, interestingly starts beating people post-midnight on New Year's eve.

Hats off to a friend of mine, who got us at his residence safe and sound. He also suggested that while he prepares dinner for me, I should get some rest. After some time, when I realised that there was pin drop silence, I went to the kitchen.

I found no one. I found one of my friends very nearby to the bathroom sleeping, while the other slept on the chair. I had my food in the wee hours of the morning.

Numerous SMSes flooded my cell. I sincerely thank all of you for the best wishes.I also made some calls and scared a few people. My actions have been treated with much anger and one of them have decided to crush me beneath her treadmill :). And that, too with close eyes.

On a serious note, let us also see that we strive to make this messages (peace & prosperity) into concrete plan. Together we need to make a stand to fight against terrorism in any of its form.

It's not just Mumbai. Let us fight to wipe it out from every place on this earth. The baby born on the New Year's eve should breathe in a world of harmony. I pray for it, and hope that we all can celebrate Diwali, Id-ul-zah and Xmas and various festivals together in unison and peace. Are you with me on this?